why u scream
"She looks sad. She looks angry. She looks different from everyone else I know—she cannot put on that happy face others wear when they know they are being watched. She doesn’t put on a face for me, which makes me trust her somehow."Matthew Quick, Silver Linings Playbook (via feellng)
"I learned not to trust people; I learned not to believe what they say but to watch what they do; I learned to suspect that anyone and everyone is capable of ‘living a lie’. I came to believe that other people - even when you think you know them well - are ultimately unknowable."Lynn Barber, An Education (via feellng)
Why can’t you fall in love?
Because I was not
made to rely on
someone other than myself.
Life has taught me
that I rule myself,
and everyone else
wishes only to reach inside
my chest and
take and take and take.
I have been complete
for a lifetime;
there is no void
for a love to fill.
I’ve built myself from nothing,
hands cracking and bleeding,
scars that will last an eternity
I could never belong
I could never be yours,
and you could never be mine,
a push and pull that would
rip me from the peace
I’ve grown among the wildflowers
that dance and tangle with my roots.
I can’t fall in love.
I have a stone heart
and a steel soul.
The world is my only lover,
and adventure my only friend.
I have traced the melted line
where the sky kisses the sea;
I’ve felt mountains crumble
beneath my shaking hands.
a hunger flows through me.
A hunger that love
could never satisfy.Emily Palermo, Now Maybe You’ll Leave Me Alone (via starredsoul)
Perhaps the most terrifying moment of my life
was the discovery of my parents’ fallibility,
when my father ceased to be a hero and
my mother a queen and
something vile and cruel writhed in my throat,
something they could not vanish,
something they could not eviscerate
with militaristic commands and gentle coaxing,
for this was not a monster under the bed,
this was not an over-zealous imagination;
this was real, this was growing deep
into their daughter’s bones.
And I saw them, finally, as they really were,
stripped of the golden armor
of childhood naivety that had given them
immunity to the failures of humanity
in my too-wide, too-innocent eyes.
My father aches for control,
craves it in the softness of his
He doesn’t know how to be without;
he is a scared, small man
who doesn’t realize that his hands
are made for destruction,
made for ripping out hearts and
crushing them into dust.
My mother is a child,
with an unnecessary temper
that could rip teeth out of the skull.
She fears change,
fears it like death,
and she has reached the end
of growth in the middle of her life.
These were my beginnings,
these are what I have stemmed from,
and I love them, I do;
I love them with the decaying tenderness
that is owed to them,
that will weather over time,
for it is the stone and they are the sea,
and the ocean is unyielding,
even to the frailty of the human heart.
I love them in a different way than I did once-"
no longer god-fearing and awed,
but the love of camaraderie,
of those trying to scrape by,
of those trying to make it out alive.Emily Palermo, The Age-Old Story of a Daughter Outgrowing Her Parents. (via starredsoul)
"I looked at everyone and wondered where they came from, and who they missed, and what they were sorry for."Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (via feellng)
TitleZoey 101 Theme Song
adulthood is just an endless stream of phone calls you don’t want to make but have to